MOM

I haven't said much about my Mom in a while because she is a difficult topic for me recently. My Mom is a right arm amputee since 1982 due to an car accident. She is a retired school teacher who specialized in Special Education helping countless kids, including myself, to learn. Was married for forty eight years to my father. Raised three kids and have seven grand children. A historian; a christian and one crazy lady. Sadly, in 2026, my mom is in hospice care and slowly fading away due to dementia that she has fought for years. Nothing can change this now. Everyday I wake up thinking that today I will loose her. Everyday I am grateful she is still here. Everyday I wonder if she is struggling and if that is fair? I have been grieving the lose of mother for months and she is still physically here but so much of what made her mom is gone. I hate that. She is not perfect. Mistakes were made and words were said years ago. Hurt is carried but forgiveness was found. The good outweighs the bad. It always did. When I needed her, she was there. When it counted the most she got it right. And that is what I think about now. I try not to second guess God. There is a plan I just don't know what it is. I hope when the time comes that she goes easy straight home to my dad and God. We lost dad in 2018 due to cancer. Mom started really sliding after he passed. She has good days and bad, but I want her back the way she was. That cannot happen now, not here at least. God will make her whole in the end. In the end when we are all one with God. I hold onto that now.