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Seven years is a long time. Nice an odd of a number. It can be both a long time and short time as well. Depending on how good or a bad memory it holds. Drags out to infinity. Hops and skips over the boredom of everyday. All perception, I guess. A time to remember and learn. Maybe a time to move on. Many choices. Today, March 7th, I will go back seven years. That would of been 2018. And I start with a text message. 'I'm Sorry Baby, He Slipped Away'. My wife, Kelly, was the one who kindly and gently told me that my dad had passed away. Sadly today, marks the fifth anniversary that we lost Dad. It is not at all easier now than it was five years ago. I miss dad every day. We knew he was sick. He was in hospice. We had been notified earlier this day that he was nearing the end, but I believed if anyone can survive and defeat cancer, it was dad. He was the toughest son of a gun in the room. He was not perfect and there was so much left unsaid. He was a good man disciplined by his faith in God; logic; reason and ration. He valued life and his family. He got it right when it counted the most. The good outweighed the bad. Was not a fan of salad. Felt salad was what food ate. Cheeseburgers; coffee; classical music and James Bond films would only be the beginning of describing him. We do not have two weeks for me to explain Dean Lewis. Believe me that he was unique. He was special though he never thought he was, but he was. Dad could be very compassionate, understanding and a good listener. Great laugh. Ham radio was a passion. Loved building things. Enjoyed astronomy, the outdoors and nature. Carried a pocket knife because you never know when you need a tool. Still a boy scout at heart. Excellent at tying knots. Did it for fun. A big supporter of my cartooning endeavors. He liked picking up the newest book for Kelly. She loves James Patterson. And loved seeing Katy grow; change and become a person he was proud of. He shocked Katy in eating Oreos. She was taught by him to break up Oreos and eat them separately. Katy thought it was weird to break food. Dad was proud of Katy’s determination and will and her imagination. She had vast intelligence in his words. Hoped perhaps he would have gotten an engineer out of her but was glad she was happy. He was proud of all his Grandchildren. They were all quite special to him. He knew when he messed up but could be very stubborn. Hard to admit that he was wrong at time. Allowed his actions to speak to for him especially when he sought forgiveness. We argued at times. We were too much alike in some ways. But forgave each other in the end. ‘Its done; it’s over’ we’re good’. Many thought that Dean was a title. He came across like a teacher. Got called Edmund a lot. That is his middle name. Could imagine being a baby with the name, Dean. A bit heavy on potential in my opinion. Easy to spell but needs to be grown into. Dad and I watched a lot of old movies together. Both liked the music of Blondie. Did not understand why I like professional wrestling but that was okay. I wish he was still here but there was never going to be enough time. I miss his catch phrase, 'Well, Hi.'. He was colored blind so grey; black; white and brown were his go to colors. To say the least, Dad did not teach us our colors. He explained everything by physics and science. It was God’s logic to him. Practical and simple if could be seen. He had a voice for radio. Even casual clothes looked like a uniform on him. Order was essential and God gave us order just needed to see it. Didn't eat breakfast much. His presence was valued in his work and personal life. Highly respected. Grew his mustache when I was only a month old because he did not like being called kid. Years later was fond of it so much not to consider a shave. He and Mom did not always see eye to eye but they loved each other devotedly. Life threatened to break us but we never surrendered and we survived. Endured and improved. He loved all of us without question. Dad, I miss you; I love you and I will never forget you. I know you are in a better place, and I will see you again someday.

Diabetes is an unpredictable disease. Messes you up royally without notice. Type one can effect everything from motor skills to cognitive abilities. Constant balance tipping to high and low. Heat can be a huge factor. June 2000, me, a buddy and his infant son were at Harper college. It was nice out and a Friday. My buddy had errands to run. Didn't like to drive alone. Also, his son liked me. I could make kids laugh. Nice day, yes, but very humid. We parked away from the building which required a long hike. Harper college is a town on to itself pretty much. A diabetic's diet consists of a certain amount of carbohydrates; proteins. On this day, I had more protein in me then sugar. I took a bad diabetic low. I was not talking much. Just saying Okay. Stumbling over my own feet with my vision getting twisted. Blurry in a haze. We entered the building to pay my friend's tuition bill. It was also the same building that had a bookstore. I sat there with my friend and son with no idea what to do. Confusion was all I could see. God knew I needed help. So you know who just happened to be in the Harper bookstore buying a book for her student who she tutored? My mom. She knew what to do as any mom does. She literally walked right into us. Mom carried my buddy's son in the carrier and my buddy helped me to the elevator. The cafeteria was one floor down and had a good lunch special. God will always provide. God will always open the door even when the light it quite dim.

Thirty nine years is a long time to remember anything outside of a birth; marriage or a friendship. What I remember is the start of a moment that changed my life for the good. Friday, February the 28th of 1986 was the day I saw a Doctor for what I thought was the flu. It was not the flu. I was skinny; pale; terrible rash on my legs; couldn't ride a bike or swim. No balance. Quite emotional at times. Nausea and dizzy more often then not. To this day my memory is hazy in some places. Got sick a lot. Blood was taken and the next day, Saturday March 1st, we found out why all this happened. I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and my my blood sugar was 1200. I should of been in a coma. I should of been dead. I walked into the Emergency Room on my own power. They had a crash kit ready for me. For twenty four hours I was on pure Insulin and no food. Doing this could of killed me. Not doing this would kill me. I didn't know most of this for years. What I was upset at the time was that the Hospital did not get channel 11. I was going to be stuck in a hospital, hooked up to everything that took electricity, and no Doctor Who. What the hell. My parents had my back on this. My dad signed the waiver solo so if it didn't work that Mom wouldn't be haunted by the judgement call. My Mom stayed with me throughout the whole week. She also learned how to cook healthier at home so no one would be left out. Dad made up charts to keep tabs on all my numbers and health overall. This was a failure is not an option. My brother and sister had my back too. Crazy at time but they were there for me. As to this day my wife daughter have those spots who was never intimidated by what I had to live with. That's love. It was a long road back. New diet and would be taking injections at least twice a day. Good thing I already like fruits and vegetables. In time I got healthy. Learned to swim and ride a bike. The rash washed off my legs in the shower a few weeks later, literally. The years have been full of ups and downs. Been a struggle at times as Diabetes never goes away. Does a number on your brain; motor skills and everything in between. A tight rope crossing while holding a safe and blind folded. I have been blessed with many people who have helped me through the years. I can never thank them enough. Had to apologize too for moments of induced anger and a times that I seemed drunk. I do not drink. The disease is very unpredictable. The good outweighs the bad. I met my wife. Became a father. Shared some wonderful moments with my family and friends.  They all got my back when I needed themI have a good job with a clean bill of health. I most of all am grateful to God for his grace. For never forgetting me. Never forsaking me. Granting me my talents to make this life mean something. Without HIM nothing is possible. With HIM everything will endure. I get there the long way round.

In my almost fifty years I have lost people and it never get easier. It is always sad. Never helps in saying that said person, 'is out of pain or they are in a better place. Lived a long fulfilling life. Will be remembered for the life that was lived.' All this is very true. Of course it is. Unfortunately, it is all air to those left behind. The memories help the pain. Keepsakes left behind help the pain, but the pain does not go away. It remains in a much more manageable state most of the time. When you least expect it, the pain comes back. You want to see that person again. Talk to them. Laugh about some old stuff that may not matter but still worth talking about. You want say, 'I love you. I miss you. You mean so much more to me then you could ever imagine.'  Whether a person has hundred years; hundred months; hundred day; hundred minutes or seconds. never enough. I try not to refer to the whole process as death. It is too permanent to me. I try to call it, 'Passing'. A personal choice. To me death means gone forever. Never to exist again. I do not believe that we are gone for good. Any of us. I believe the physical world is fleeting. It changes and grows. Birth and death happening all the time. Memories shaped into reality. Better or worse nothing can last forever here. I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe in God. I believe that Christ destroyed death. That each of us is special because we possess a soul that cannot age. I believe that there is another place. A world without end. A world without pain. I believe Heaven is a reality in another place and possibly time. Real none the less. I believe that we can see those we lost and hear them through dreams and a moment in time. They exist with God. Not everyone goes to Heaven. Some go to Hell because they choose not place Faith in Christ. I believe because to me nothing else makes since. Life is precious and is forever. Christ is the only way to Heaven. Christ is forever. That faith makes it easier to live without people I miss because my hope is I will see them again. Until then, their memories will keep them here with me.

Bruce Wayne has never gotten over the loss of his parents. He could never have stopped the murder from happening, but I believe that he is trying to make up for a tragedy that was never his fault. This attempt at being physically and mentally at top peak performance risking insanity. Selfless but a chess player with plan after plan.Ironically he surrounds himself with a surrogate family. A reminder to be a better man. Not to cross the line. Even if it would the easy way. Batman have never been about easy.

I do this thing when I go out to eat with my family. I do it even if I go out on my own which rarely happens, because I do not like eating alone. I bring a sketch pad. I draw a picture or pictures that I leave with a tip. I try to tip well out of appreciation for the server and out of memory of my late Mother In Law, who raised five children on a waitress salary. I leave a sketch to make someone smile or laugh. I sometimes take requests. I just want to be kind. Yes, the money is more important but I do this even in a place where a tip may not be required. Everyone should be noticed.

Why I love my wife and daughter? Why would I do anything for them? Simple, because God (Jesus Christ) brought me these two incredible people into my life. I trust God and I love God above all. If God can love me then I can love him too. I would be dead wrong not love what God gave me absolutely because God is all we need. And everything in God is all we need. God wants our trust. He wants our love. He wants it willingly. It's not easy to trust and love that which is more then we can see with the eyes. Little details that piece the puzzle together. God wants us to love him above all things. We give love and we receive love. Through the love of God we are able to see the need to love others. To care for others as all are connected to God. We honor God's promise by loving and caring for others. Though we do not need to perform good deeds to enter Heaven, we do good deeds to show love to God and his teachings. Hate the sins but love the sinner is very true. God gives us each other to learn and see the truth in one's self as we live in His words which grant us this reality flawed as it is, we are not alone. Life is infinite due to Jesus Christ. He died and rose again destroying death which granted us Heaven and Hell. To follow or to stay in the dark. No soulless robots merely individuals that cannot be replaced. Not slaves. Viewers Choice, but if we walk with God, truly, then we will see that the glass is not empty. Our talents; knowledge; abilities are all gifted to us we just need to to look to God as he can read the instructions. God can understand it as He sees the entire picture. He wants to help. This life is His kindness. Will not give up on us. He has no back therefore he cannot turn away from us.